Peace and Love are Where We Make Them

Hello, lovies.

Popping in after a long ol' time.

Admittedly I've had much fun with this blog and come to find more people who resonate with this pea-and-lizard-brained life of mine, sometimes using it as a confessional (see last post) - and by the way, have been riding the horses lately, without incident or hint of trouble, and LOVING IT!! There is nothing like the smell of a warm furry horse on a chilled autumn ride. Happiness.

I have ceased to write about the drama in my life b/c I thought giving it an audience would hasten it's departure. (Did I use that apostrophe correctly? Possessive, right? sheesh) But it keeps happening, and I'm questioning the Taoist principle that focusing on the negative seems to bring more negative...

Have been out of work for over two years, doing everything and anything I can to keep this little family of mine together, the cat and the boys and sometimes Jeremy too... and I can only say that bad things happen. To good people, to bad, in-between, or however we're feeling that day.

Roommie trouble, living with ex-in laws (oh boy!) and getting run off a horse boarding property by a crazy drunk... ahhh, there is too much to tell. A decent friendship just blown off, not ending but not continued... such are the ways of the world, I suppose. Sadness everywhere, on everyone's face from one time to another. How can people constantly choose to live this way? I see joy in sunlight, blessing from rain, love in a chickadee eating berries off the vine. This is also everywhere I look.

I just don't understand why people must endure needless suffering. Or cause it in another.
But I'm letting it go.

Now.

Dashboard Confessional.

He goes by many names.
Here, especially, he's Wind In His Tail. His registered name is Joe Cool, but due to his bloodline I had redubbed him (quite unofficially) War Dancer (coming from - of all beings - Man O War and another later, lovely beast Native Dancer). Due to his extreme personality at times I have renamed him War Child, and at his worst War Criminal. Ha. Otherwise we just call him Happy.

Yes, literally, he has a smiley on his shoulder. And you've probably already seen the heart on his butt. He does have a LOT of heart, a big one, but that belies his nature to misbehave at any opportunity. Recently I've had an opportunity to take him camping and riding with some friends and, during his refresher courses, he has demonstrated his more apt moniker, Demon Child.

Not only has he fractured one of J's fingers by getting the leadrope tangled and jerking him about, he has many times pounded us on the top of our noggins with his steely chin, shouldered us into walls, posts, and other such, but the last in this string was him beginning to paw the ground (just being haltered in the stall was evidently an outrage) except the top of my hoof - sorry, my VERY human FOOT - directly in the path of the downward forceful strike.

So ONCE AGAIN I had to face the inevitable decision, as I had already thrice before, to keep or to find a home? Four times have I been thrown by this animal. Once resulted in concussion. My foot has looked like this a few times, one or the other. He acts like a racing stallion the minute I walk in the barn. Tearing back and forth from the outside to the inside stall, barely able to contain himself to be haltered, then it's the circus to the field...

Yes, babies, believe me I don't make it easy for him to act like this. He gets LOTS of ground training, backing up, circles, a few lashes of leadrope across his front legs when he strikes out and rears up.. I have had training, he has had training (and been TERRIFIC) we've done the natural horse-person-ship along with a more agressive (ahem..) Cowboy style (not proud, already told you this is a confessional..) with smacks on the snout for biting me on purpose (I know, I know, they say to never do that!) but if ANY of this worked for ONE SINGLE SECOND don't you think it would have in the last three years?? I've even ridden him around this beautiful property a couple times (he is much, much better under saddle.. riddle me that!?!) and yes, loves to have a job - needs to be doing something, for sure. But time after time, he is just. too. much. for me to handle on a daily basis, so he ends up in the field bugging the other horses.

Yes, he doesn't even treat THEM right. Not responsive to typical Leave Me Alone Now cues by others of his like. Keeps taunting like a naughty spoiled child. I have since had him either in stall or out alone where sometimes he can see other horses and sometimes not. He has gone for 3 days at a time in the field not eating, just running, running, looking more like a greyhound than a horse, but in the evening at least he gets hay and water, the only times I think he ingests anything (because his buddy is also in the barn, but not too close).

ALL THIS TO SAY THAT all this time I thought it was ME. That EYE was not a good horseperson. EYE was not confident or knowledgeable or capable. ME. And because Happy was such a drain on me, I ignored the other gentleman in my life (a lot of things in fact, in my life) because I kept trying to understand how I could fail so incredibly miserably. But once I began working with Louie, even though he had some of the same field-lazy habits that any horse seemed to develop, he came around within two days to understanding what I wanted from him. I tried the same behavioural stimuli with the other horses on the property. They all responded well too.



It was then I realized I had been duped, perhaps only by my own mind, but now understood I AM FINE. I AM A GOOD HORSEPERSON. HAVE MANY SKILLS. AM VERY CONFIDENT and capable and respectable by the equine community. Where else has this translated?!? How about in YOUR life? How many times have we banged our heads against the brick wall that is/was our partner/co-human anytime, anywhere, with our child, with some systems that don't seem to work no matter what we do??? Fortunately for me, I had/have another being to tell me "Yes! I get it. I understand your communication" to know that I wasn't just an equinary idiot. When even strangers are nicer to us than our (fill-in-the-blanks: family, lover, friends even) and respond to our very socially clear cues and conversation, then we finally can understand that MAYBE IT ISN'T US!! just the combination of 'usses' at the time. With Happy, I'm investigating the fact he may have been improperly imprinted, on human OR beast, and has a mental state akin to being autistic. I don't hate him or abuse him, but I do demand his concern for my personal safety while we figure it all out. We still have loving moments together.

A big AHA for a small matter. But that's how it works, these fractals. Atoms look like galaxies and systems behave similarly, quantum and universal. All of our answers are right there in front of us, in a drop of water, a flower petal, a puff of wind. Waiting for us to listen, to see. No gurus need be involved, simplicity is where you find it.

I'll leave you with a fave quote of mine, from Kung Fu - "When you cease to strive to understand, then you will know... without understanding."

Peace, honeys
<3

This.

This little piece of black plastic goes to the back of my phone case, should I want to replace my belt-clip insert with a flat one, so the knob doesn't stick out.

Why is this important? Glad you asked!

Because I had thrown it away after weeks of tossing it from one hiding place to the next, sure that I would never have use for it. And I guess I still don't. But one day it hit me that I wouldn't have the OPTION anymore. After going through my bathroom garbage container like one would go through their computer recycle bin, I realized I had tossed my bath garbage into the curbside container.

Like a second, far more SERIOUS version of the computer recycle bin, yes I unloaded nearly a week's worth of non-recyclables (was only a couple grocery bags, now that I think about it, but still... ew.) - with cotton swabs and produce stickers grossing me out, dust bunnies hopping everywhere on the garage floor, I found it. I decided I was not going to stop rummaging until I did, and so... I did!

Yes, this one seemingly innocuous gesture, as you may have by now guessed by reading ANYTHING I have written in the last year, has led to far greater personal enrichment. Not only did I force myself to endure the yuck that I had to go through, but my hip was out of place, I was hobbling back and forth, the wind was just enough through the door to make a mess to sweep up... all these things I had considered prior to my undertaking, and said hell yeah, it was worth it just to show myself I could accomplish just ONE THING I set my mind to...

That actually led to me accepting a previously turned-down invitation to a dance gathering in the middle of nowhere, at which I had conducted my own baptism, stretched the limits of my compassion to a limitless state, and had a most enlightening time. Many MANY realizations followed that weekend hence, including what it is that I'm doing/not doing that is holding me back from happiness... not just that, but actually trying to FORCE myself into shapes that I just didn't fit.

That was nearly four weeks ago, honeys. As many of you put it, it is good to be out LIVING the life instead of just blogging about it. Not even sure if there are too many of you out there who still read this... I know my most loyal commenters, and thank you SO much, it does really make my day to see you there! And I will continue to check back with you too... but it will be sporadic. I know you understand. Life finally got interesting for me again, and I'm following the bliss where it takes me (with nod to Joseph Campbell).

Some of our mutual bloggers have taken hiates (totally made-up word) hiatuses? or outright changed their pages to begin anew.

Methinks I shall just keep blogging, not every day, or even every week - but once in a blue moon when something like THIS happens.

The Last Bite

I've never finished my food
and enjoyed it while I sat

I get up as the last bite is chewed
to take care of this n that.

But this annoying habit is cheated
by saving the first bite for last

Thus, I convince myself to stay seated
until all the chewing's passed!

Hot Chicks

It's that time of year, honeys...

and they are EVERYWHERE! can't go into a store without seeing them. Hearing them. MUST LOOK!!! no matter how hard I try to stay focused... So I took pictures to remember them by.

and in case Leghorns aren't your type, I have more bodacious beauties:


They run around the bins like little bugs, get tired, and fall into each other sleeping. Mostly they sleep propping their heads up on their beaks, and I even saw one fall asleep beak-first on top of another chick's head. LMAO. Some look up at me intelligently, wondering...

and here's one after my own hippie heart - not real, but I drive by it now and again and it always makes me smile!

IF YOU NEED A DOSE OF CUTE AND FURRY

Yes, my horse wears his heart on his ass. Go figure.

The Grove Girls are OVER

Well, honeys, all things come to their end... a bicker here, unkind action there, and BOOM! one roommate is asked to leave... a month later, I go away for a week to visit my mom in CA and look for work down there, and BAM! the other one moves out. No warning, to me OR the landlord!

It was hard for a long time. Things haven't been going well since November. And both times, before each roommie moved, it was ME, I had said that in order to let peace reign, I would be the one to leave. So here I am, the last Mohican. Wrong tribe, but you get the idea.

A new day dawns.

The Stuff of Life

Here it is, honeys...

I unloaded my truck into a big bag, and brought the bag in the house. For a long time it just sat there, then I had a thought... what's in YOUR wallet?? Ha- well, take a look!


From the center, the purple blob you see there is a velvety zip-up hoodie, surrounded by a peach shirt and another grey hoodie. The large blue blob above it is a plush throw, and to the right of that is another blanket.

Going down you'll see my shopping bags (reduce, re-use, recycle!) and to the left of that, the softest towel ever! brown on one side and blue on the other. Going toward the upper left, you'll see a half-drunk bottle of wine, two six-pack carriers, a Round Table Pizza location flyer, and three pairs of shoes... my faux vinyl boots, my suede yellow walkin' shoes, and my blue jellies!!

With a nod to Dena, for once listing items she had in her trunk, I thought this may say something about me if I could only read the items, like tea leaves in the bottom of the mug...

What do you see? I'd like to know!
Thanks!

Greetings from the Farm!

Oh my goodness, things have been irregular in the household. The whole situation needs an Ex Lax.
Any and all insight and comments would be welcome as I go through yet another change, another trip into the unknown ...

Early February I came back from a much-needed few days away from the Farm to find that one roommate had traded a couple days with me on the schedule - not just without asking, but even without INFORMING that the day after I got back I was expected on duty... and that the other roommate had turned my heat completely off in my room while I was gone. Not a big deal, unless you consider I usually have the heat on about 65 and otherwise it gets to the upper 30's, which not only can damage my CELLO (as all you stringy artisans know these instruments should be kept in a semi-constant environment) but my Army-induced arthritis in my neck and back is HELLA painful at those low temps, and it takes SO LONG to heat a room up 30 degrees with a baseboard heater...

So that was it. I told them peace out and I would find another place. I wasn't getting along with one of them anyway and the other is a manipo-holic, lying, tyrant of a princess. I gave the owner my lowdown, citing irreconcilable differences, and in a twist second only to the ending of REMEMBER ME, the owner told me she would rather kick THEM out and that I should stay. She supposedly gave a 30 day notice the first weekend in February.

Then I thought about being there 24/7 and decided since one of those roommates USED to be a friend, perchance we could solve issues between us (wow! what a concept! working something out instead of running away! but it is SOOO HARD honeys...) and she could stay with me.

I was supposed to go to CA to visit my mom in the care home beginning March, and spend time with my brother, now that he is talking to me again after 3 yrs of having cranial-rectal syndrome (he had his head up his ass). But since one roommie was on vacation and was SUPPOSED to come back, and we hadn't heard from her, I didn't want to leave the other for a week of doing horses herself so I told her I'd put it off til we heard from the other.

Well, it so happens that the vacationing one DID contact the other roommate, who just didn't see fit to inform ME so I could visit my mom(she has a thing about relaying messages, just 'isn't her responsibility'), she just let the other one come back at her leisure after I had J come down to help, since I had been covering the roommie not just on her vacation but the previous 3 weeks when she had hurt her foot and couldn't work on the farm.

...and since the one hadn't talked to the other yet about her needing to leave, and since it was the end of the first week in March, I sat her down and explained the situation to her. It was very amicable despite our previous head-butting (we are actually a lot alike) and both discovered that our roommie and ex-friend x 2 had lied and misled both of us on numerous occasions. Great. I just kicked out THE GOOD ONE. F%#@!!!

The one who is allowed to stay is the lying devious one, and the one who has been hot-headed, but honest and hard working, is out. But to the detriment of the first one, since I put off visiting my mom til next week, when she will have NO help taking care of the horses for 8 days. She doesn't want me to go, but I will not put off my family any longer - especially since she ruined her chance when the 3rd roommie was still around, in her short-sightedness.

ADD to the fact that the orchard people have been spraying in the fields. The first time the owner wanted the horses in for two days, then more sprayers came out - I contacted her and asked if she wanted the horses indoors for this one too but she never got back to me. They were there for two days and I figured if it was dangerous she would have said something. then I began to find dead birds on the property, and began having dizzy spells. over the next week it got so bad I was kneeling in front of the toilet and got so dizzy I would fall to the ground. I contacted her a week later and she said she'd find out what it was from the orchard manager.

ANOTHER week goes by and I'm ready to just pull up stakes, I wasn't even sure I would be able to drive to the store to get more groceries! I called her again to ask what she'd learned and she was upset at me, telling me I should call the guy myself cause she works all day and is busy!

Well that was it! I packed up and headed to WA, and spent a couple days recuperating. My symptoms began to subside and so I asked J to take my shift last weekend. J found the guy's phone number in a drawer at the house so I called him, only to find out they sprayed Lime Sulfur - a completely organic compound (like cyanide gas!), but extremely dangerous and fatal if swallowed, inhaled, or absorbed thru skin. He got a dressing down for not warning us before he sprayed, but he is somehow of the opinion it is safe, so that is what the owner thinks too. I'm pretty sure there is something illegal about spraying chemicals without notice to residents. I'm going to look into it. Peeps are depending on me!

Sunday Morning

Sunday, and sunny... well, partly. Trying to get into the 50's and so heater still necessary... the boys are happily munching down the grass in the yard (they are still wearing their coats too!) I'm listening to music by Stars of the Lid... ambient and lazy, honeys... a tummy full of peanut-buttered garlic bread (oops, I think I just lost a couple of you), watching cat sleep... and my emotions are like the ocean: waves of one beautiful feeling after another, created from the thin, forever-calm, continuous line at the horizon. Thought I'd share with a pic that KINDA resembles this feeling, if any two-dimensional image can relay the myriad quantum actions inside us...

It Was a Good Day

Today was one of those normal, albeit punctuated, days, the kind that are nice to have just to laugh and relax a bit and stop WORRYING about every damned thing...

Nevermind that my tax check to the US Treasury bounced, OOPS four days ago... or that I had to borrow money from (here it goes again, hate the term) ex husband to cover the truck payment while I shop for food at the dollar store again til next week's unenjoyment check... ;o)

When I got home from errands, I had barn chores to do, so what else makes the time go faster and more enjoyable than bringing a double dose of the best BLOODY MARY ever... and my cat! Since the berries are coming back from their long winter sleep and apparently 'need' insecticide, we've had to keep all the horses in the stalls for two days. Having gotten the message that the HAY DUDE now wants to spray fertilizer on his fields (and the pastures) tomorrow, we must keep the horses in aNOTHER two days... and they get their feet trimmed Friday so IN AGAIN... that is almost an entire week in the stalls when they are used to traveling across acres every day and they are FRUSTRATED!!

So I let them out in the lower pasture for a couple hours while I scooped the poop and cleaned the barn... only to witness one of the funniest home videos ever. Sans video. Happy was running with a couple other horses around the pasture and came to the gate end, only to find the space running out quickly! So he shored up and tried to pull too short around, ending up slipping onto his side and sliding another couple feet (which would have been embarrassing enough in front of everyone... and in case you didn't know, they DO get embarrassed!) only to bump his beak into the water tub at the last... you KNOW I was laughing my ass off. Which of course meant he hadn't hurt anything but his pride in the process.















It is one thing to describe, it is another to understand how incredibly HILARIOUS it is to watch a horse do something silly, only to be caught ashamed about it, oh honeys I wish I could relay the amount of tears flowing out my eyes from laughing so hard!

The barn eventually became clean enough for the horses to be brought in, and Cat was there at the door surveying each one as I led them through to their awaiting food... she is such a good girl. Finally we walked back up to the house, me stumbling and inebriated, she picking her little pink paws thru the gravel and mud, as the first sparkling stars of twilight appear.

It was a good day.

Tell me, honeys...

Why is it when I decide to get more organized, things seem to get more complicated? Figuratively AND literally.

I straighten some things in my room; more stuff comes in from seemingly nowhere (when really it's just from the truck, or out of the horse trailer tack room and finding non-horsey items). I straighten things out in my closet, and find more stuff in my room that seems to just have a tangling orgy when I'm not looking!
When I need more light to see what the hell I'm doing, what used to be pleasant (my pink party bulb in my nightstand lamp) is suddenly nowhere NEAR enough.

Buddha might say that it is my WANTING of these things that brings their opposite.

Zen is being at peace with shadow and chaos as much as light and order.

I can see those things. But, BUT I really like finding things I'm looking for, and not pulling out cat's food bag, a sock, and a roll of TP when I'm only fishing out my laptop power cord... I want to be able to depend on things that I spend time and money into maintaining. I guess I really am attached to those expectations. Not knowing if your stove, your car, your PLANS are going to work... we really couldn't function if those things didn't go as expected at least some, or most of the time!


What if you had to? Our worlds get turned upside down all the time. If not us directly, then people we know. What if you lost your mate, then a month later your job, and then one of your cats, and your RV catches on fire... then your brother disowns you, and a longtime friend decides she likes her life better without you in it... and while you are moving you lose what's left of your belongings from the divorce... well, I'm being slightly redundant. That saga needed installations, for any who missed it the first time: parts One, Two, Three, Four, my Awakening and Hell Night.

We don't really OWN anything, do we, darlings!?

That is the test, when our stuff dispossesses US. That's when you know. What would you need for your basic survival? Your friends, family - who can you count on? It's not pleasant (especially in February) but think of it, honeys. Just for a moment.

Because of my experiences, and their proximity to each other, I feel aged, but closer to wisdom; jaded, but free. Free to see things as they really are, because what I wanted would have none of it! I'm not talking about wanting a diamond ring, or a kitten, or a house... I took Sheryl Crow to heart: "It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got!" ~That was me! I was satisfied.


Whether jaded or free (or both?), I know now that the future, much like the silhouettes of those giant trees across the street in the evening fog, is only lovely because it's edges are still fuzzy.


(P.S. ~ I know that sounds fatalistic. It really isn't supposed to be. What needs saying too is that the rest is up to YOU!)

Valengine's Day

OK, so Valentine’s Day is coming. And it can’t be over soon enough for me!! Now before you go making up your mind that I’m some kind of feminazi, or just someone who doesn’t get anything for this holiday, hear me out!

So every day after New Year’s – and some ways before even – we have to endure commercial after commercial (get the not-so-indirect point there!) on TV and radio, billboards… and if you’re like me, and happen to not own a TV and listen to your own CDs in the truck, and are lucky enough to be spared the billboard scene, you probably still will visit a grocery store and get hit in the face with a million of those floaty heart balloons and more pink flowers than your optic nerves can process.
Shameless, I tell you!

And what are they all hocking? From the side of the road even (in case you are one of the evidently MANY suckers who either forgot—or refuse—to put any thought into the gift or the meaning of this day) where you can find limitless rows of identically stuffed cellophane blobs full of…

And yes, this is my point… Chocolate, flowers, candy, bath foof, even silky robes and fluffy slippers, maybe a cute stuffed animal—are these the ingredients that apply to our population? NO!!

When do you ever see pre-season tickets, beef jerky, baseball caps, magazines, leatherman tools, maybe even fishing poles and bait happily wrapped in camouflage plastic? Do they even make cellophane decorated with camo?
How is this day supposed to be anything other than Make Your Vagina Happy Day? It is completely geared toward the fluffier parts of us.


Think of it—chocolate to elevate that snappish, foul, after-work mood, soft fluffy things to tame the nagging tongue because you know you didn’t take out the beer bottles like she asked you to, and happy bath stuff to keep her occupied for a while so you can actually do what you’ve always wanted after your day at work: to rest in the quiet, maybe sit with your socks on with your pants unzipped on the couch, and nibble on cold pizza while perhaps flipping through the channels with the remote all to yourself… Ahhhh!!!

Well, there it is. Now I guess I can see why it is some people still go for this stuff. If I think about it on that level, how it may actually be more manipulative than I first thought, how maybe it’s all a ruse and WE are actually the suckers—I may even get a bit upset… if I could only muster up the will after using my chocolate-covered fingers to find the faucet through all this foam, and turn off the bath water…

Egads, I've been AWAY!!

It has been a TERRIFIC year for me so far, honeys, tho a tad chasing my tail it seems... I haven't read you all in such a long while it may take me a WEEK to catch up. But I will.

I have been a bit miserable at home but things are changing. In the meantime, while I concoct a story for you all, I will leave you with this bit of peace:

Wednesday Madness

Well so much for the Monday regularity. I'd like to say I'll do it when my life is a bit more regular, but sheesh by now I guess it's time to admit, this IS my regular life! Order in Chaos.

So, enjoy. These peaceful moments are fleeting. Think not always what you have to do next. Take a few moments (however long they measure in REAL time) to think of nothing but beauty and peace.

Of course this is me talking to myself, but I just thought I'd let you in on the conversation~

I AM... The OTHER Woman.

Mid-morning. He comes over, after everyone in the house has gone. We walk for hours, the two of us, ignoring that we are spending time with each other when our own loved ones are missing out. There is beauty, understanding, unspoken feelings that just seem right...

Yes, folks.

We hate them, we shame and shun them, sometimes we may say, You Go Girl, but we always hope she stays away from who belongs to us.

Why, you ask, when I have one at home who I love, and loves me in return? What sense does it make? Is it possible that I need more than just one? They aren't even the same sex.

Well, when you see this face, maybe you will be in love too...


Yes, Meathead.
But Meatie belongs to someone else.
Meatie himself does not even care to go home when he is with me.
He stays for sometimes days, even when I beg him to go home.

We go on our long walks... and this is the only view I get.



When I open the door in the morning, he is there, in the front yard, waiting to escort me on whatever business I have for the day.


Even when I'm cleaning stalls, he sits overlooking the valley where the puma and bear live, and says, No-one is going to harm you on my watch.


He hears the shrill voice of a woman calling him home when she discovers he's out roaming again.


He just turns and asks, Where are we going next?
He loves me better.

Sometimes I feel so torn.
Torn that I have to leave him outside when I eventually finish my duties outside. Torn when he sits at one door after another, knowing I am inside, whining to let him in from the cold. The cold air, the cold cement stoop, the cold woman who will chain him up the moment he goes back home.


Then there is Mew. How can I continue seeing him, spending all my time outside, when she is in here, ready to yell at me for being out... Why so long? she screams, in that crotchety, old-smoker, my-vocal-chords-are-going-out voice of hers. Then again, there are moments like these:
What is a human to do?!?

Resolutions?!? Shmesolutions!

But. I will say that due to some thoughts and realizations of late, I have decided (coincidentally at the turn of the year) to only purchase groceries that come in no packaging, or recyclable packaging. There are so many options nowadays that I just flat refuse to throw one more thing in the trash. Because I am a very visual person and can see my backyard piling up with teabags, Trader Joe's Moochi packages, the seemingly innocuous plastic wrappers inside the recyclable cardboard... I'm DONE!


I'll use what is in my cupboard, but from now on I'm gonna be that crazy lady you see in the bulk food aisle, wearing the fashionably co-ordinated and colorful clothing, bringing her own bags to pick out fruits and veggies, the glass container that has been weighed at the checkout stand beforehand so the cashier can subtract the weight from the price of the goodies inside... remember in all the westerns how people had boxes to put all their sundries in? How nobody, once proudly astride their steeds, ever just rode around tossing fast-food containers and candy bar wrappers in the streets? Well. Call me .... whatever. Maybe it's living on the farm. Maybe it's the roommates' constant drivel about composting (howabout you EAT what you COOK) and who is going to take the bucket down to the composter by the barn. Maybe it's having vegetarian horses. Maybe it's becoming more aware of living a simpler life. Maybe it's my watching the old episodes of Kung Fu (and writing a book of the great quotes therein).

Whatever it is, honeys, it has got me.

Happy New Year!

Lots of changes in just the last couple months, some people are beating the big C, some are moving away from the past and going forward with their future (even if it isn't in Florida) and some have loved and lost... others are finding themselves, and continue to explore what it means to be parents. And people. Just plain people.

Dream big, honeys. We all deserve it.