Icarus is Burning

 

Hello fellows! in blogging, and word usement, and using both as therapy...

At least the chronicles of a human experience.

It has been quite some time but a little bird found a link to my old blog and I have missed it so!!

 So much life has happened since I started this in 2009, and now reading over the entries and comment connections brings me great joy and feelings of continuity, at a time when I can count on nothing but the sun rising each day. It is such a source of inspiration that I can continue both the ripples I enjoy pushing forward, and the ones of my own making.

Anyone interested in post trauma growth is encouraged to bundle up with popcorn and hot chocolate for some good stories. From the looks of it I stopped blogging when my best friend died, and then my Army injury kicked up again, with a vengeance - I thought divorce and losing a baby and losing my familiar was bad enough, but then the stars aligned to create even more mayhem. Once an astrologer did a reading for me and told me, Honey your stars point to constant tragedy! and I thought she is supposed to tell me good lies but now I cannot swear it isn't true. 

Job was right, all is vanity, but that doesn't mean we are able to avoid the vain drama when it is thrust upon you on all sides, as with him. He just realized that the lies we tell ourselves, and let be told TO us, all the safety and comfort and security that each of us feels we earn by being good people, doing good things -- it can all be taken away and crumble in front of you, and there is sometimes just no good reason. Sometimes there is just nothing anyone can do. To live it grudgingly is not the lesson. To put up with unhappiness, discomfort and disease, lying and hurtful things, turning blind eyes to things because the system isn't fair or representational and is cancerous -- isn't the lesson. The recognition of it -- I dunno if I'd call it acceptance, not really -- where it simply is -- without emotion, judgement, or reflex -- that is the hard pill to swallow. Where to go from there has been my most recent self challenge.

My fiery flight path has put me through seven hells and flung me at Mt. Olympus in the Pacific Northwest, where I am tending to my burns... and growing new feathers.